Requiescat in pace
My cousin, Franny, died suddenly last Monday. When someone you know dies you often learn things about them that you didn’t know or you see things you did know in a different light.
After Fran’s death, I learned this: if someone needed help, Franny showed up and just helped. He didn’t say, “let me know what I can do.” He grabbed whatever tools were needed, got in his truck and drove over, and then did what needed doing. His daughter, Emily, shared a great story with me. One of the guys from the tennis club called Fran and asked if knew someone who could help fix a roof. “Yeah,” Fran said, “I know about roofs.” A little while later, Fran was at the guy’s house, climbing a ladder and fixing the roof. If there were more guys like Franny Grugan, we’d probably have a lot less problems in the world.
Fran was also a great storyteller and committed practical joker. One of my favorite stories: his cousin Maura went to West Chester University. This was back in the late 1980s when there were no cell phones. If you wanted to call someone who lived in a dorm, you called the payphone in the hallway. If it was busy, you called back later. If they were out, you left a message with whoever happened to be around to answer the phone. Hopefully, that person wrote the message down on the big board that hung by the phone. Well, Fran got Maura’s dorm number during her freshman year and called her, frequently, when he knew she wasn’t around. He’d ask for Maura. The girl who answered would holler for her, Maura! Is Maura here? No, she’s not here, the phone answerer would say. Fran would leave a message: Tell her Dack called and that I had a great time the other day. Tell her Lance called and it was so nice to meet her in class. He did this several times a week for the whole semester! He went to the trouble of finding out the “in” guy name: Dack, Lance, Tyler. He found out when Maura was likely to not be around. And he called, and called, and called. Who does that?! Fran Grugan, that’s who!
Maura, of course, had no idea who these guys were. She’d look around in class and wonder, is that Dack? Is that Lance? The other girls got jealous, who’s this Maura? What’s so great about her? Fran kept it up from September until Christmas, when he asked Maura about school, classes, guys? How’s Dack? asked Fran. And what could Maura do but laugh? He’d gotten her again.
Here’s his obituary:
Francis John Grugan, age 69, of Wilmington, passed away suddenly on Monday, February 1, 2021.
Born in Philadelphia, PA, Franny was the eldest of three sons of the late Francis J. and Mary (Finnegan) Grugan. He graduated from St. James High School in Chester, PA in 1969 and attended West Chester University.
Fran will be fondly remembered for his love and generosity, hilarious stories and positive spirit. A truly good man, he was a devoted husband, father, grandfather, son, nephew, brother, uncle, cousin, and friend. Fran’s mission in life was to make others feel valued and special. He helped friends move, bought cups of coffee for strangers at Wawa, went grocery shopping for his aunts in Gray’s Ferry, brought his granddaughter lunch at school every week. He adored his grandchildren and regularly mailed them letters and gifts. He was generous with his expertise, sharing advice on car buying, starting a business, and improving your tennis volley. No favor was too big to ask of Franny. Even in death, he shared himself with others. He never made a big deal out of the help he gave, instead making it seem as if there was nothing he’d rather do than lend a hand, listen to your story, or make you laugh.
Fran’s generosity and humility came from his Catholic faith and upbringing. Despite his many accomplishments in life, he only ever bragged about two things: his penmanship and being a “sharp dresser." He supported Catholic education because he knew that daily exposure to the teachings of the Catholic faith help shape and prepare the individual for a life of service and gratitude. There was always a Brown Scapular in his wallet and a Hail Mary on his lips. He was a devoted parishioner at St. Helena’s Church, a member of The Knights of Columbus #3128, and a lifelong volunteer for Special Olympics.
As a member of the Philadelphia Local 401 Iron Workers Union for over 20 years, Fran was proud to help construct the Commodore Barry Bridge and Liberty Place 1 and 2, among other landmarks in Philadelphia. He will be missed by his many friends and former co-workers, who had the difficult task of balancing on narrow beams at great heights while laughing at Fran’s stories.
Throughout his life, Fran loved watching, playing, and coaching sports. He was an excellent athlete, winning the prestigious Dick Christy MVP Award for an outstanding game against West Catholic in 1968. While he often led his teams to victory, he never sought the spotlight and was happy to share it with his famous family dog, Maude. As an adult, Fran enjoyed playing softball with his childhood friends and tennis with his favorite hitting partner, his Emily.
Fran shared his love of sports with everyone he met, always encouraging others to play. He managed tennis operations at Bellevue Tennis Center, Radnor Valley Country Club, Brandywine Country Club, and Sea Isle City Recreation Center. He served as a CYM basketball coach at St. Helena’s and a volunteer coach at Padua Academy for both the basketball and tennis programs. Practices were infused with “Franisms” and always ended with a sweet treat. Fran was a loyal fan of the Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Notre Dame football, and many college women’s and men’s basketball teams, especially Mount St. Mary’s. However, his favorite games to attend and support were those of his family and friends, especially his nephews and grandchildren. He shared his football expertise with his grandson, Nolan, reminding him, “Don’t forget your helmet!”
Known as a great storyteller, Fran kept friends, family, and strangers alike laughing with stories that grew with every telling, though it often took him a long time to finish the stories because he interrupted himself with his own laughter. That special laugh of his that made us all laugh. Although he hoped to make the whole room enjoy a story or quick-witted anecdote, his favorite person to make laugh was his “beautiful Rene.” Fran had a great memory, often sharing stories with his cousins about their parents. His gift for storytelling helped to bring the past alive, helping to preserve the history of the Finnegan and Grugan families for future generations.
While Fran always made time for others, the highlight of his morning was talking to his daughter, Kate, while she drove to work. He ended each call the same way, “see you, love you, bye.”
Fran’s success in life came from hard work and a big heart. He enjoyed reading, often finishing a book in one sitting, spent many hours planting beautiful flowers in his garden, and rarely missed an episode of Jeopardy. Fran loved to vacation in Charleston, SC and spend summers “down the shore.” He read multiple newspapers daily and was a lifetime student of history. While his intelligence and curiosity made him interesting, his humility made him wise.
Fran’s legacy of love and generosity lives on in us when we buy a cup of coffee for a stranger at Wawa or help someone move, when we tell stories together, stopping midway through because we are laughing too hard. It lives on when we say our Hail Mary’s and tell our daughters and granddaughters how beautiful they are. It lives on when we buy the perfect gift, go grocery shopping for our aunts, hit the perfect volley, and love each other with all of our hearts.
If Fran were reading this right now, he’d say, “Wow, he sounds like a great guy! I wish I knew him!” All of us are grateful for the blessing of knowing Franny Grugan and hope that everyone who reads this can take a lesson from his life well lived.
He is survived by his beloved wife, Irene (Del Signore) Grugan; his daughters, Kathleen Curry (George) and Emily Grugan; his grandchildren, Claudia, Ella, and Nolan Francis; his brothers, Patrick (Carol) and Michael; his sister-in-law, Joyce Grugan; his brother-in-law, Michael (Laura) Del Signore; his sisters-in-law, Florence Johnson and Maria (Richard) Bonder; his cousins, Maura DiTrolio, Dan DiGrazio, and the many Finnegan cousins; his nieces and nephews, Mary, Patrick, Annmarie, Daniel, Ryan, Casey, Cristina, Gianna, and Antonio; as well as several grand-nieces and nephews; and many close and dear friends.
In lieu of flowers, we ask that you send donations in Memory of Francis Grugan to the St. Patrick's Center (https://www.stpatrickscenter.org/) at 107 E. 14th Street, Wilmington, DE 19801.